January 7, 2015 Clair Marie 1Comment

Working so hard towards something, a goal, a dream, a requirement. It’s what kept me moving throughout the early years and what motivates me still to this day. So why, when all is said and done, does it become difficult to take that one last step, not off an object but instead to reach success?

 I became self sabotaging over the years. Addicted to the struggle towards the end goal but then fearfull of accomplishing it. Why? Who knows why, for all different reasons. Fear is ever changing.fear of success

 We become addicted to the struggle, addicted to the idea and the outcome. Yet once we reach a point of almost accomplishment we become self conscious. Of our self, our project and our success. We fear judgment on the final outcome and we fear the unknown, what happens after success. We fear acceptance or lack there of and having someone dissect what we just poured all of our energy into

 I know all to well the feeling of self sabotaging. Most of the time it isn’t necessarily conscious. I have worked long and hard on projects that were very important to me and very special, but when I reached the end I procrastinate on making that one last phone call, editing the last page or clip and sending the final project off. Leaving my passion, the thing I poured my heart and soul into,  sitting all alone in a closet, on a desktop or in the hard drive.

After trying to resolve the anxiety of finishing a project I came to my own Fear of Success realization. When I have the anxiety, when I have the fear of judgment, when I’m not sure about finishing a project or I am procrastination I  know that it’s the time to act. To stand up to the fear of Success and instead embrace it. That feeling of fear never perminantly leaves me, Instead it retreats until I reach the end of yet another project or goal. Once I near the end of a project that fear is always present, now instead of succumbing to it I allow it to fuel my desire to finish, eliminating that awkward feeling in the pit of my stomach. This leads me to one of my favorite quotes right now “Don’t be afraid to give yourself everything you’ve ever wanted in life” The Fear limits us, but it can also propel us to accomplish more and actually finish.

 Sometimes the fear of success far outweighs the fear of failure! Conquering that fear takes more courage than accepting failure. I’m up to the challenge.

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